We all approach problem people and situations in our own peculiar way.

Why is this?

Perhaps it is something to do with our mindset or the way we view the world. Your mindset will determine your response to people and situations. Our natural urge to judge and evaluate a person’s actions and behaviour are our conditioned response, based on our values and experience.

In business as in life generally, the main obstacle to improved communication is this tendency to evaluate. To avoid this tendency we need to listen with intention and understanding, sounds simple, but in reality very difficult. It is easier to evaluate and rationalise the situation or message rather than attempt to understand it. This way we stay within our comfort zone, I am right and you are wrong!

Most of the time we are not aware of the mindset we adopt in given situations, and as such our behaviour repeats itself. Awareness of our mindset can help us to determine whether the problems we face are best served by our current mindset. Achieving our stated goals may require a shift in mindset or having the courage to recognise the limiting effect our approach is having on the situation. We judge people from our point of view, we approve or disapprove of the actions or opinions expressed relative to our thinking patterns.

Very often strongly held beliefs are charged with deep feelings and emotions – which if overlooked will result in problems in communication. Have you ever witnessed a heated discussion between two people- you probably went away thinking what was that all about? Neither person was listening to the other person's point of view, each person was judging or evaluating from a personal frame of reference. In such situations very little of use occurs, the mutual lack of understanding compounds the problem.

Next time you get involved in a heated exchange with a colleague or partner, first of all state clearly your understanding of their position to their satisfaction. Only then should you set out your stall. Understanding the other person’s point of view requires active listening on your part based on an appreciation of where they are coming from. Yes you’ve got it – understanding your own mindset will have a major impact on your approach to problems and challenges.

At Ology we help client’s to recognise their prevailing mindset and the degree to which it impacts behaviour. At this juncture we can help them to understand the current reality and explore the limitations and possibilities of alternatives. Expanding choices and a more open and curious mindset are very often the prerequisites to commitment and action needed to affect outcomes and results, leading to goal fulfilment.

If you want to solve a problem you may first need to change the way you think about the problem.

By Paul Doyle - Ology Coach, Dublin

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