I don’t like boastfulness! The reason I don’t like it is that I value integrity above all things, and when a person boasts they are not acting with integrity or authenticity. Typically a boastful person claims credit for successes that aren’t theirs, or says they possess strengths and talents which they don’t. So it is the deceitfulness of boasting that I find unpalatable.

I’m not much of a fan of modesty much either. Conversely, modesty often causes people to underestimate their contribution to success or ignore the existence of strengths and talents that they would do well to leverage. Modesty stops us from playing to our strengths because is prevents us from knowing what they really are.

So what do I like? Honesty. Honesty about our achievements; honesty about our strengths; and honesty about how powerful they can be.  Peter Drucker wrote:

“The effective executive builds on strengths – their own strengths, the strengths of superiors, colleagues, subordinates; and on the strengths of the situation”.

Marcus Buckingham has brought into the consciousness of many that we do not learn more about success by studying that which is its opposite: failure. Unfortunately for decade’s study of the opposite of success was precisely the focus of business improvement academics, writers and consultants. Buckingham neatly summarises this point:

“Conventional wisdom tells us that we learn from our mistakes. The strengths movement says that all we learn from our mistakes are the characteristics of mistakes. If we want to learn about success we must study successes".

Unfortunately the imprint of this negative thinking still remains. Think back to your last appraisal or performance review and ask yourself what proportion of the conversation was spent discussing your weaknesses and areas for improvement versus time spent discussing your strengths and how you can develop them. I know that most of you will find that the skew is unfortunately toward weaknesses. How do I know this? Because a Gallup survey revealed that 87% of us believe that “finding your weaknesses and fixing them is the best way to achieve outstanding performance”. Unfortunately 87% of us are wrong because the opportunity for personal growth and performance improvement that is possible by focussing on strengths-based development dwarfs that which is possible by focussing on weaknesses.

So now I return to the problem with modesty. In order to first of all be aware of your strengths you’ve got to discuss them. In order to develop and refine your strengths you’ve got to discuss them. And in order to ensure that other people are aware of your strengths and grasp opportunities to utilise them you’ve got to discuss them. None of which will you do if you are foolishly modest and keep your strengths out of sight for fear of being caught blowing your trumpet.

“Real honesty is being honest about what your possibilities are, what your potentials are. That's where true honesty lies. It stretches us. It’s not simply admitting where we are - that’s a beginning step, it’s not the end step. So be honest about where you are but also be honest about what your possibilities are. That keeps the challenge of the path always before us.”
Thanissaro Bhikkhu